


White

by Undercover_Royalty



Series: Of Loss and Gain [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU: After Season 5, F/M, Jon is a traitor, Original Character - Freeform, S5ep10: Mother's Mercy, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undercover_Royalty/pseuds/Undercover_Royalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Take my hand (take my whole life, too).</p>
            </blockquote>





	White

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, this is my first work on the Archive (or, rather, the first one I've forced myself to post). It does have hints of a Canon/OC relationship (just as a warning in case that's not your thing). Constructive criticism is always welcomed, and thanks for reading!

He was not in his bed.

Kina Storm blinked then squinted looking back. Indeed, Jon Snow wasn't in his room. Still working, then. His office was his only solace on the Wall anymore. Slipping her boots back on, Kina trotted from the room to the gangplank, striding across to his study.

"Snow?" she called in a whisper, coming around the bend.

The door was wide open.  
Jon didn't leave the door open, not now. He always locked it, even if he'd only be gone a bit. On guard now, the dark haired woman flickered her eyes around the room. Finding nothing, she began an easy walk-around, glancing out of windows and fiddling with drawers and the like. Still nothing.

Nonplussed, Kina went back outside, near giving up- until she saw the tread in the snow. So Jon had fancied a little stroll, it seemed. She followed his tracks keenly, looking forward to the added bonus of startling the Lord Commander- something she rarely got to do. But his surprise never lasted. Worse, his eyes had grown softer when he looked at her.

Kina hesitated to call it anything, neither she nor Jon were quite sure what to make of it. There was something undoubtably, but they left it nameless. Giving the feeling a title gave it power, and neither of them desired to give up what little power they had.

As she drew ever closer, Kina became aware of a gentle murmuring, punctuated with the sharp sound of steel meeting flesh. So it seemed the brothers were slaughtering another horse. They did this at least once a week, a protest of sorts against their Lord Commander, and all he was wasting. But yet Jon's footprints led her straight towards the massacre. He'd gotten word and was coming to apprehend them, or perhaps to make amends. Still trying so hard to be the good leader that they needed- in Kina's opinion, the only leader who made any sense in these seven blasted realms.

Pressing herself to the wall, Kina risked a look around to see who all had gathered. Alister Thorne was absolutely no surprise, with bunches of men that she knew by face, but not by name and- oh. Olly was there, too. Strange that he should be here, he normally trailed after Jon, and yet Jon was nowhere in sight. From behind the structure, dark eyes narrowed.

Something wasn't right, here. But Kina, usually the ever observant, reflexive Kina found herself too slow that frigid night. Too slow on the one night it counted. All it took was one little word, uttered in a broken voice that she knew like the back of her hand.

"Olly..."

Suddenly, everything made sense. The open door, the footprints, the horrible squelching stabs. This wasn't a protest.

This was mutiny.

Bursting out into the light, the view came into focus- Jon on his knees, Olly above him, dagger in hand, the other clusters of men gathered around and prepared for a good show. Any thought of rationality went out the window. She was no longer Storm, the nimble runaway with the silver tongue, as Jon knew her. No, here she was Kina, the boney, filthy little girl who had scurried through the slums of the Stormlands and wondered what it would be like to matter to anyone.

"No!" she shouted- a ragged, sudden cry, "Olly, no!"

The men looked at her and burst into raucous laughter. Jon looked at her, grey eyes both numb and shocked. The young boy looked at her, eyes ringed red with unfallen tears. Then turning back, he very deliberately retracted the dagger- and plunged it into Jon's chest.

Kina faded into white noise and blurry movements. She saw the men clap Olly on the back, saw them leave Jon without a second glance. She saw him fall backwards- and then the world burst back into life like a bonfire, bright and burning and too much, far too much- She falls into the snow at his side, tearing gloves from her hands and cupping his face.

"Jon, Jon-" she breathes, brokenly, "Oh gods, no, no..."

Warm, sticky wetness pools around her knees. His blood is still hot, burning, alive, but the unforgiving snow is quickly extinguishing it. It will soon freeze with everything else on this barren wasteland.

"Don't do this to me, Snow." Kina begs, as she looks down at him.  
His eyes, like the river, are unseeing and glassy, reflecting the blazing colors around them: the crisp, blinding white, the dark, pooling red and the sharp, whirling silver. Jon Snow does not blink, and his blood finally stops its cumbersome trickle, frozen.

He is dead.

A puff of breath fans over the scene, as a long-hidden and now dying feeling flutters in Kina's chest. The last three words he heard her say weren't the right ones. She should've done more, should have told him a thousand times over what she'd known for so long. But now it's too late. Now, he is gone.

But still in blind hope, in denial of the truth, Kina leans down over the body of her only remaining friend, pressing their foreheads together. A tear slips from her eye and splashes against his cheek, the one tear she'd ever show him. The one tear he'd never see. And then came the three words he'd never hear.

"I love you."

There is a beat of pure silence, maybe two. Outside this scene of grief, life goes on as it always has, and always will. But just for those precious moments, two souls are detached from the time stream, in a world all their own, free of doubt, rage, fear... And just for a moment, a little bastard girl is at peace. But then that moment is over.

Back in the flow of time, a silver-tongued runaway throws her head to the stars and screams at the top of her lungs.

She howls for all that she's lost, and for all that she'll never find. She cries for the scared girl that she was, and the broken woman that she's become. But most of all, Kina Storm screams for the man she loved, the man who can never come back.

As the winds whistle across the tundra, a promise of the weather to come, Kina lies down alongside Jon and impulsively takes his hand. Without him there, she is undoubtably next to die. With nowhere to go, and no reason to stay, there is nothing left for her in this world. But perhaps there is something in the next.

She does not pray and the gods do not listen. The cold, unfeeling stars look down and wait for the inevitable. Death can no longer be a fright but an opportunity. So, as the first drifts of snow come in, the woman lets them fall where they may, interlocking her fingers with Jon's.  
Eventually, those interlocked hands will freeze like everything else.  
And then, Jon Snow and Kina Storm will merely be a part of the frozen tundra.


End file.
